Sox Win; Sox Lose; Honeycutt Explodes

MUSIC +++ FILM +++ SPORT +++ PHOTO +++ LINK +++ POORLY REASONED POLITICAL OPINION AND STUPID JOKE

SPRT
So, somebody heard me -- and this time, all the way from the East Coast.

I call John Smoltz perhaps the best money pitcher of all time. So what happens? Ozzie Guillen sees his White Sox load the bases on D, up only a run, in the playoffs against the dangerous Red Sox. He calls on Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez -- half-brother to one of the biggest CHUMPS of all time, Livan "Fat Ass" Hernandez -- and in a series of epic battles, El Duque calmly gets Out One, Out Two, and Out Three.

Now, Hernandez has been denied the chance to compete with Smoltz, Gibson, Jack Morris, and others for "Biggest Money Pitcher" because the United States doesn't like anyone we can't destroy, rendering Communist Cuba and its many talented citizens verboten. But if he fails to end the discussion, it's not for lack of trying. (Oh, I'd better say STARTING pitchers. Otherwise, as El Duque might point out, I'd have an angry Mariano Rivera to deal with -- and you don't want one of those.)

But let's give credit where it's due. Guillen -- who looks hardly older than his veterans, and loves nothing more than a passionate, confusing quote -- is an inspired manager. He's got his charges playing together as a team, maximizing the sum of their parts -- the hardest thing to do on the South Side, or anywhere else. I mean, everyone keeps saying that speedster Scott Podsednik has been the addition the team is built around, yet the Sox are still described as a three run homer outfit. Podsednik's forgettable second half was revealing -- keep in mind, this is a guy who for ten years couldn't hit enough to stick in the MINORS -- but it's still a remarkable contradiction. (Podsednik also set an unofficial record for most balls cut off in the gap, holding guys to singles, in a short series.)

I don't know how Guillen and company got John Garland to turn into Derrick Lowe -- the guy who won twenty, not the guy you saw before and since -- but for a former shorstop, the man knows pitchers. Ron Gardenhire, I hope you're paying attention.

In this age of specialization -- generally considered to have started when Tony LaRussa invented a robot that could throw up to eleven pitches from the left side eighty times a year, and named it #*Rick $_@Honeycutt∫˜html -- Guillen looks for his best pitcher, waits only for the toughest situation, and pulls the trigger.

In Game One, with Dustin Hermanson warm the whole time, Guillen went to Bobby Jenks -- and his two-plus months of Major League experience -- to start the eighth, then sat on his hands until Jenks had finished Boston and the game. Now, in game three, he doesn't care that it's only the sixth, or that his man wasn't even supposed to make the postseason roster. El Duque was the best man for the job, and the job was to get out of that jam.

Wonder how some guys just seem to get more out of their players? Well, the best managers are the ones who manage situations by demonstrating the greatest faith in their guys. Guillen does just that. And that's what players respond to.

It's amazing how, in Chicago or anywhere else, no one's been saying it: Sox for the Series. The White ones. How fitting would it be if the unconventional Guillen is forced to match wits with the automaton LaRussa for all the chips?

SPRT
A post-script to yesterday: apparently the Niners gave -- GAVE -- Jamie Winborn to Jacksonville for a seventh round pick. They don't even get any cap relief, though they do still get to pay a large chunk of his wages.

This is out-and-out robbery, and even the Niners brass must know that. Nolan has his reasons. But nobody will ever know what the hell they are.

POL
In other news, Republicans stall a five minute vote for over forty minutes, while they urge, cajole, and, I would think, blackmail fellow party members -- after all, Tom DeLay was leading the charge -- until one man's will breaks and a despicable energy bill passes, 212-210. (Why it's despicable, I have no idea. Sometimes it's enough to watch who's voting where. By the way, apropos of nothing, Anne Coulter tells Bill Maher on his show that liberals hate black people, and the whole exchange is entertaining. Okay, it's not entertaining. But it is friendly, which is just as unlikely.)

A nice moment after the vote: Democrats stand up as one and actually chant, "Shame! Shame!"

...And set a new Party record for timeliness: they're only three years too late.

MR

QWTOFDY
"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."
-Thomas Jefferson