How To Reduce the Cost Of War

MUSIC +++ FILM +++ SPORT +++ PHOTO +++ LINK +++ POORLY REASONED POLITICAL OPINION AND STUPID JOKE

REL
This is pretty good. On the T.V. show "The 700 Club" yesterday, Christian Coalition founder and occassional presidential candidate Pat Robertson said the following about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez (no relation to boxer Julio Cesar Chavez):

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop... It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

It's nice to know that Robertson thought this through. Or, as Jesus says in Leviticus, "...Just so long as the we keep the oil flowing." Coincidently, studies show it'd be a whole lot cheaper to kill Robertson than start a war, with no oil losses there, either. Of course, it's true that Chavez has committed some truly heinous acts as President, including speaking out publicly against President Bush, failing to say that Cuba is really bad, and severely reducing Brittany Spears' air time (see "Ashes to Usher" post.)

Although Robertson has made no further comment on the subject, a smattering of Christian leaders, along with religious watchdog groups, have condemned his statements. Stay tuned for the fallout, including "The 700 Club" remaining on the air and doing very well, and Bush demonstrating his famous loyalty, by saying something like, "I consider Pat Robertson a close personal friend, probably third after Karl Rove and Rafael Palmeiro. But it's a-- well, it's a really good third. And I am confident that none of them... you know... 'did it.'"

A side note: keeping up with political cartoons can be entertaining -- it gives you the illusion that people are giving a shit about topical issues -- and it's interesting to observe the eerie exactness with which the cartoonists portray Dick Cheney. He's constantly peering down that rail-straight nose, with that crazy scowl and one eye running from the other. Little-known fact: if a young child touches Cheney, he or she will instantly turn to stone.

NFL
Well, like every year, we all watched the endless NFL draft, inventing various storylines to keep ourselves involved. (Why we wish this, I do not know. Ah: I'm suddenly hungry for some ESPN brand ESPN Flakes.)

This year, some questions centered on University of Texas running back Cedric Benson: would he be the first running back taken (no) and does being a talented back with dreadlocks from Texas mean he's as crazy as Ricky Williams (yes.)

Benson's post-selection interview was a mugging. He acted like an insecure 12-year-old hopped up on Pixie Sticks. He couldn't string a sentence together, and when he could, made it clear that his brain is positioned in deep left field. Regardless of his on-field game, you could tell: big-time bust.

Now Benson's been holding out of Bears camp, letting a reasonable (that is, lucrative) offer sit on the table while his rookie year goes by the boards. Not only will the Bears budge no further, they claim they're going to reduce the offer.

Good idea. I know this sounds like scant evidence so far, but give it a year or so: for Chicago, losing their prized draftee entirely is the best-case scenario.

Or were you surprised by Terrell Owens turning the Eagles locker room into the petting zoo pellet pile?

MLB
Today's AL Wild Card standings, at start of play today:

TEAM... GB

NYY...... --
CLE...... --
OAK..... --
MIN..... 2.5

Granted, the Yankees have to be considered the favorite. But it says here the Indians take it. Love that team -- a cadre of great young hitters, and enough solid pitching to do the job.

POL
The Army must have been under a lot of pressure: they're reopening their reinvestigation of Pat Tillman's death. No coverup, they insist to his enraged family -- although, of course, "procedural misjudgments... contributed to an air of suspicion." "Procedural misjudgments:" low IQ's are hereby permitted to exit the train, right?, but doesn't that just mean "doing something we shouldn't have?" And what would that be?

SPRT
And in baseball, If you haven't heard of Felix Hernandez, watch out. Does anyone remember the young Dwight Gooden? Put it this way: he won a Cy Young before he was old enough to toast it.

And for those of you not familiar with the Bay Area, it's late August, and Giants shortstop Omar Vizquel played yesterday's game with long underwear on.

MR

QWTOFDY
"Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out."
-Robert Frost