FINALLY!!!

MUSIC +++ FILM +++ SPORT +++ PHOTO +++ LINK +++ POORLY REASONED POLITICAL OPINION AND STUPID JOKE

LAW
Well, the streak was bound to end sometime. And you can't call me dishonest. Or you can, but now I get to slap you.

Yes, yes, the streak of me being right about EVERYTHING -- scooping the pro's by weeks on steroids, politics, and Sheryl Crow looking like a horse -- has, sadly, reached its evitable conclusion. And Rhenquist wheezes on.

SPRT
So just for sticking with, I'll throw you a bone. Francisco Liriano -- mentioned last time in the same breath as Rhenquist (different paragraph, but I've got lungs like Dolly Parton) -- is the former San Francisco Giants farmhand we begged them to take along with Joe Nathan for AJ "DP" Pierzynski. Granted, after Nathan, Liriano would be only the second Brian Sabean error in judgement (different from bad idea; I'm talking about judge of talent) since Keith Foulke, or rather since Jose Mesa came the other way the following year.

And, lest it be forgotten, "DP" Pierzynski is not awful, never was. So what's worse than awful? He's one of those players just good enough to suck ball bearings. For Warriors fans, Donyell Marshall may seep to mind -- "Marshall, shaken violently from a deep slumber by assistant coach Rod Higgins, seems to be in a bit of a haze tonight" -- and Donyell's still in the league.

Not that I'm defending Pierzynski, although it's true he's the best "pees, zees, and skis" player since Tim Pyznarski. (I tried peeing, zeeing, and skiing this winter at Tahoe, but the Kirkwood staff was not amused. As Frank Zappa penned, "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow.") No, defend AJ, and you risk disproving the "blase West Coast fan" theory, with your plasma as Exhibit A.

POL
In Gevas, a rural town in eastern Turkey, two breakfasting shepherds were surprised by one of their sheep running to the edge of a cliff, then jumping over. Imagine their shock, then, when FIFTEEN HUNDRED more sheep followed suit.

In a nation where the Gross Domestic Product averages $2,700 (US) per person, losses to local families exceeded $100,000.

The good news is, Republicans lost the recent election there, by fifteen hundred votes.

POT
Hey, bet you thought I'd miss the opportunity for headers "POL, POT." Exciting, right? I'll save you the trouble: read every third letter of this missive back-to-front, and it spells out the real truth about the "virgins" those suicide bombers will be kickin' it with after death.

Neat, huh?

Yes, and we all knew this was coming, but in POT news: marijuana gives you night vision.

It's true. Another new study. I haven't read the details. I was going to, but things got all squinty. I snagged some more peanut butter and raisin Doritos instead.

MR

QWTOFDY
"There's a house on my street
It looks real neat
I'm the chap who lives in it
There's a tree in the sidewalk
There's a car by the door
I'll go for a drive in it
And when the wombat comes
He will find me gone..."
-The Police