Stay Off The BQE, Salim Ahmed

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POL
So, the highest court in the land bucks the administration -- again, where were these people, three, four, and, ESPECIALLY, five years ago? -- by agreeing to hear from, of all people, Osama bin Laden's driver, Salim Ahmed Hamdan, on possible governmental human rights violations.

The decision to take the case at all is groundbreaking, and already tramples the administration's endgame goals. On the other hand, in the fine print, an odd twist: the Supremes will only hear evidence pertaining to those being held at Gitmo and elsewhere around the globe who have been CHARGED with crimes.

That makes nine. Out of an estimated five hundred.

Chew on that.

POL
And if the 9/11 report, the OJ trial, or my roommate's parking ticket protests are any indication, this case should drag on long enough for Bush to appoint and confirm the deciding vote himself.

Democracy: the worst system of government ever put into practice... with the exception of all the other ones. (See: Capitalism.)

SPRT
Great, now everybody's going to want to know what you think about Terrell Owens. In a word, good fucking riddance. Vindication! It's never felt so good to be a Niners fan.

Except when they were, you know, not the worst team in the league.

SPRT
DEAR COACH NOLAN,

Please, do not start Mr. Dorsey on his tender ankle this weekend. Mr. Dorsey, while a very nice guy, is perhaps the worst quarterback since Jim Druckenmiller. And he can't tow a pickup with a rope around his waist like Drunkenkiller could.

You want rope? Start the cowboy. Good story, good body, minimum of fuckups.

Coincidence?: Here it is the halfway point of the season, and the number of quarterbacks on the Niners roster who have thrown a touchdown pass this season is EXACTLY THE SAME as the number of gerbils Richard Gere admits to having shoved up his ass.

SPRT
Another question you'd rather not field: the NBA's new dress code.

Yes, the code is racist at heart. But more importantly, dissing a poor, gang-infused audience to court the Personal Seat Liscense crowd will not boost merchandise sales like league bigwigs expect.

And, racism or no, the bottom line is once again the bottom line.

Perhaps they need to pound the global market even harder. Line of the week: Andrei Kirilenko, Utah, yesterday: 20 points, 8 boards, 5 assists, 7 blocks. If Mehmet Okur (31 points) is for real, this team is a point guard away from being very tough.

Sleeper of the week: Everybody's saying this, but Texas TJ Ford, Michael Redd, and the Milwaukee Bucks.

Snoozer of the week: You're the Hawks. You go into the season's first halftime up ten, then yield 75 second half points and get blown out by the Warriors. How can you justify THREE flagrant fouls? This is a team with an acute awareness of how bad it is.

POL
A correction on my last entry. I guess McCain was actually FOR the Proposition, and Wapner AGAINST. Still, getting it mixed up just proves my own point.

SPRT
And finally, this will be known as the week when we thought, really thought, that the Dodgers would make Kim Ng the first female General Manager. Says here they hire a black or Hispanic and get reamed, once again, in the press and on the field.

Meanwhile, the Burger King king is superimposed catching a touchdown for the Dallas Cowboys.

As if you needed another reason to cut out the Whoppers.

MR

QWTOFDY
"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. "
-Mark Twain