Some Sidewalks Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

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The following is excerpted from an LA Times story on the bankrupcy of Atkins Nutritionals, essentially signalling the end of the odious Atkins Diet fad. I've changed one word in the story, because I like it better that way. We hope you agree. (The original word was "sidewalk.")

In Boise, staff members of the Idaho Potato Commission gave each other gleeful high-fives when they heard the news. In Houston, the folks at the U.S. Rice Producers' Association declared 'good riddance.' And fruit farmers in the Central Valley said they were 'happy to see them go.'

The diet was first outlined in a book, Dr. Atkins' Diet Revolution, developed by weight-loss guru Dr. Robert Atkins in 1972. Atkins claimed that his diet prompted 'ketosis,' a metabolic state in which fat is burned more efficiently. Books by Atkins -- who died two years ago after falling and hitting his head on a New York steak -- have sold more than 20 million copies in more than 20 languages.

GRABBAG
Some quick shots:

* "Palmeiro's positive steroids puts credibility of Congressional hearings in question." For those of you who had been blown away by their authenticity. It does add, I think, to the credibility of Palmeiro's Viagra commercial.

* Also in sports: "Giants trade two pretty good young players for Randy Winn." The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!

* "Bolton makes it into UN via back door." Hard to know what to say about this one. Let's just give Wolfowitz another medal.

* "Seven Marines killed in Iraq." ...So?

* "The unemployment rate in Virginia is so low that its Unemployment Agency had to lay off 400 employees." Rumors they were immediately rehired to find jobs for themselves have not been confirmed.

* "Steven Crawford is made Co-President of financial giant Morgan Stanley to ensure 'management stability.' Crawford, whose two-year contract also contains a clause allowing him to collect all $32 million of his salary if he changes his mind and resigns, promptly changes his mind and resigns." Well, the old CEO had been unsuccessful, so they sent him packing, with just $113 million severence pay. I only mention this because you're tired of me writing about those overpaid ballplayers.

* "Britain's National Archives releases documents from the 60's speculating that rocker Mick Jagger was involved in 'dangerous drugs.'" If he's not careful, that kind of thing could really hurt his career. (Jagger's reaction to being knighted two years ago: "I'm honored to be given the same title borne by the great Sidney Ponson.")

* Good point from Slate.com: Supreme Court candidate John Roberts' religious faith (he says he'd recuse himself from any case in which the Catholic Church might consider the proper ruling immoral) is absolutely fair grounds for inquiry, given that the Roman Catholic Church is a sovreign foreign state, which maintains diplomatic relations with Washington, and whose recent record includes asylum for Cardinal Bernard Law, despite "his role in the systematic rape and torture of thousands of American children." As for his actual confirmation, Roberts' best quality remains his completely forgettable name.

* "Japanese customers who attempt to eat at a certain Western-style restaurant in China are turned away unless they first apologize for Japan's occupation of China during World War II." No apologies have been reported so far.

* A very excellent article by Slate's Bruce Reed points out some very interesting connections in alleging that President Bush took steroids during the 2004 election. A highlight: "One skeptic cast doubt on Bush's impressive 15.79 percent body fat: 'They don't include head fat.'"

MR

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"I was raised with a heart of stone
To be broken with one hard blow -
I've seen waves crash on the shore
Come together with no harm done..."
-Jane's Addiction