What They're Up To Out There

HEY CBS SPORTSLINE .COM: NEED ANOTHER EDITOR?
"Analysis: When Lee [a pitcher] is locked in and his defense is playing well behind him, he can be one of the best hitters in the American League. Unfortunately, he can get unhinged rather easily sometimes and that is probably due to his still young age."

It seems like 27 has been young for decades now. At least.

(I mean, those Pilgrims kicked it in their 30's.)

AND, IT'S TIME I START CREDITING HIM
So, from News Of The Weird .com, Chuck Shepherd:

"Brian Blair is now a Republican county commissioner in Tampa, Fla., but before that was a professional wrestler for 20 years. He now says it wasn't the dropkicks, pile drivers or neck breakers that ended his career, but rather tripping over a tray of dirty dishes at a Carrabba's Italian Grill in Tampa in 2001, which he said injured his head, shoulder and knee, and his lawsuit is still pending. (His previous lawyers resigned in March.) Blair wrestled for four months after that injury, but said the matches were the less-strenuous "tag-team" contests. Also, hospital records show a blood-alcohol reading of 0.089 90 minutes after the incident, though Blair told the Tampa Tribune he only had a sip. [Tampa Tribune, 3-9-06]"

AND SOME WEEKS, HE'S GOT IT IN SPADES
Really, but here's two more excerpts:

"(2) According to the Hartwell (GA) Sun, state Senator Nancy Schaefer, speaking at an "issues day" event in February, said one reason illegal immigrants find work in the United States was because '50 million' abortions have caused a U.S. labor shortage: "We could have used those people."

And,

"Ms. Zulima Farber became the New Jersey attorney general in January even though her public record shows 13 speeding tickets, three license suspensions, and two bench warrants (for failure to appear in court regarding the tickets). Farber acknowledged 'embarrassment' at the record and joked that it might take 'psychoanalysis' to learn why she did those things. (However, a psychoanalyst interviewed by the New York Daily News rejected the suggestion. Farber, said the doctor, just 'needs a spanking.')"

Come to think of it, I have to go.

It seems I, too, need a spanking.

MR

QWTOFDY
"We are near awakening when we dream that we dream."
-Novalis

Ozzie Guillen Quote For April

Guillen acknowledges [World Baseball Classic winner] Japan as world champion, since "they're the last one to win."

"But now," he says, "the Japanese people think they're good. Nah, they're not that good. Sorry."

"The [WBC] win was by the team that was prepared best. Japan and Cuba were better prepared than anyone else. They had more time to practice. The team was together a long time and the Cuban team knew it was going to play in the World Classic. But those two teams, they're not that good. They have maybe a couple players who are OK, but they play 162 games at this level, they might win 20 games.

"Ozzie talking shit again, huh?" [Yes, Ozzie said this.] "But that's the truth. I know a little bit about this game. They think they're good. They're great, they play good baseball, fundamental baseball. They play great for one week, two weeks. But if they come over here we'll kick their ass.

"They play 162 games here in any division, they'll finish last. I don't want Fidel to get cocky about this shit, either. They're not that good."

I can't understand it: how can anyone not like Ozzie Guillen?

SEE DONKEYS WEIGH THEIR OPTIONS

CATAPULT

Did you see this? We're going to ask a million people who live in the US to leave and never come back.

Did you get that? America.

Okay: I grant you, it's not exactly dukes and earls leaving.

It's the tired. The poor. Huddled masses. The like.

The New York Times reported it. The masses asked to scram quietly are part of the Republican-backed version of an immigration bill currently being quarreled by the quarrum.

Among other suggestions in the document: about three million would have to leave the country, and get no guarantees of citizenship -- if they make it back in at all. They DO get the benefit, however, of serving in the Temporary Worker Program for six years.

The good news there, if there is any, is certainly not the indentured servitude of a disposable workforce -- if you're the workforce, that is. No, but it does seem likely that the Republicans pandering to their own huddled masses will successfully inable a Democrat to preside over a stable economy in the next presidential term -- assuming, of course, they find one who can win.

Beyond that, I can hardly convey, as a Californian, how devastating, not to mention racist, this could very well turn out to be -- and therefore likely is at heart. "Must speak English," if we're to learn from past experience, is likely a handy method for closing people off from their rights.

And for that, what of the economy? Without these people and their cute little American dreams, we'd be hung by our hamstrings. I suggest this: we look at it as a bad blip in the investment map, mark off ten percent perfect defecit within certain markets and raise minimum wage, give them an education, and absorb them into our community.

I mean, you fucks. It takes one generation, and you've got the next NASA team, Harvard guys, whatever. Do you not realize that? THEY COME FROM EVERYWHERE! You'll beat you're fucking Chinese or your Iranians or whoever it is we're supposed to be worried about next.

I was picturing young Republican aides applauding each other happily as I read the Times piece; it reprinted a two-paragraph quote from future candidate McCain, who jumped into the dividing aisle and pleaded that his fellow Senators might all get along for the good of America.

Y'ever feel like a Dylan song?

* * *

Oh -- and Democrats, I'd like to give the NYT full credit because this is a direct quote, straight from the bottom of the page:

Democrats "said they were still weighing their options."

MR

QWTOFDY
"Now gather 'round people, wherever ye roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown..."
-Bob Dylan